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演讲题目：Where joy hides and how to find it

中英文字幕

Who do you want to be? It's a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you're answering it every day through your actions. This one question will define your professional success more than any other, because how you show up and treat people means everything.

你想成为谁？这是一个简单的问题，不管你知不知道答案，你每天都在用你的行动回答它。这一个问题会比其他的问题更好地定义你事业的成功，因为你的表现和对待他人的方式代表了一切。

Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded. And who you choose to be means everything. I study the effects of incivility on people. What is incivility? It's disrespect or rudeness.

不论你是举高他人通过尊重他们使他们感到重视，欣赏和倾听，还是压制他人通过使他们感到渺小，侮辱、忽视或排斥。你选择成为谁代表着一切。我研究了在人类身上不文明行为的影响。什么是不文明？是不尊重或者粗鲁无礼。

It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting to telling offensive jokes to texting in meetings. And what's uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another. Take texting while someone's speaking to you.

它包含了许多不同的行为，从嘲笑或者轻蔑某人，到以刺痛的方式戏弄他人，到开冒犯人的玩笑，到在会议上发短信。一个人觉得失礼的行为，另一个来说是完全可以接受的。当别人在跟你说话的时候发短信。

Some of us may find it rude, others may think it's absolutely civil. So it really depends. It's all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that person felt disrespected. We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has consequences.

我们当中的一些人可能觉得这很无礼，另一些人可能觉得这完全可以接受。所以这真的得看情况。这完全取决于旁观者的看法和那个人是否感到不尊重。我们可能并没有让某人那么想的打算，但是当我们做了后，它有了代价。

Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room. It was heartbreaking to see my dad, this strong, athletic, energetic guy, lying in the bed with electrodes strapped to his bare chest. What put him there was work-related stress. For over a decade, he suffered an uncivil boss.

22多年前，我清楚地记得走进这个古板的医院病房我心碎的看着我爸爸这个坚强，体格健壮，精力充沛的男人，躺在床上电极绑在他裸露的胸膛上。使他躺在那里的是和工作相关的压力。十多年来，他有一个不文明的老板。

And for me, I thought he was just an outlier at that time. But just a couple years later, I witnessed and experienced a lot of incivility in my first job out of college. I spent a year going to work every day and hearing things from coworkers like, "Are you an idiot? That's not how it's done," and, "If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask."

我曾以为他只是一个特例。但是仅仅几年后，在我毕业后的第一个工作内我眼见和亲身遭遇了许多不文明行为。我花了一年的时间每天去工作和听取同事的意见，就像"你是白痴吗？这不是这么做的"和“我如果需要你的意见，我会问。”

So I did the natural thing. I quit, and I went back to grad school to study the effects of this. There, I met Christine Pearson. And she had a theory that small, uncivil actions can lead to much bigger problems like aggression and violence. We believed that incivility affected performance and the bottom line. So we launched a study, and what we found was eye-opening.

所以我做了再自然不过的事情。辞职，然后回到大学研究这个对人产生的效应在那里，我认识了克里斯廷·皮尔森，她有一个理论那些小小的，不文明的行为，可导致更大的问题，比如侵略和暴力。我们相信不礼貌行为会影响一个人的表现和结果。所以我们开展了一个研究，所发现的让我们大开眼界。

We sent a survey to business school alumni working in all different organizations. We asked them to write a few sentences about one experience where they were treated rudely, disrespectfully or insensitively, and to answer questions about how they reacted.

我们寄了一个调查表给在不同机构工作的商学院的学生，我们要求他们写一小段关于他们被粗鲁对待，不被尊重或是被无视的一段经历，然后回答他们当时是什么反应？

One person told us about a boss that made insulting statements like, "That's kindergartner's work," and another tore up someone's work in front of the entire team. And what we found is that incivility made people less motivated: 66 percent cut back work efforts, 80 percent lost time worrying about what happened, and 12 percent left their job.

有人告诉我们有一个老板一直说侮辱性的话：“那是幼儿园小孩的工作。”另一个在全队面前把某人的工作撕毁。我们发现了那些不文明行为会消减人们的动力，66%的人们工作动力减少，80%的人们浪费时间担心发生的事情，和12%直接辞职。

And after we published these results, two things happened. One, we got calls from organizations. Cisco read about these numbers, took just a few of these and estimated, conservatively, that incivility was costing them 12 million dollars a year.

当我们公布了这些结果后，发生了两件事情。一，我们接到了企业的电话思科系统阅读了这些数据，使用了其中的一些，作了保守的估计，发现他们曾因为不文明的行为一年损失了了1200万美元。